As you continue building your network, you are likely to come across opportunities to connect your contacts with one another. Sharing your contacts in this manner can be very beneficial to all parties; however, if proper care isn’t given to your recommendations, they could negatively affect your relationships instead.
- Are your contacts meant to be?
First, judge the fit.
No matter how desperately your neighbor needs a job or your sister’s best friend needs an employee, if they aren’t compatible, neither will truly appreciate the introduction.
Next, consider the value of your relationships.
Before you make an introduction, weigh the importance of each relationship against the risk involved and proceed only if you are willing to accept that risk. If either person is like family to you or provides a commodity you cannot live without, proceed cautiously. It’s not selfish to include yourself in the equation, it’s smart.
Manage the expectations of both parties.
Be honest in each recommendation so that your contacts will have an opportunity to consider the situation from all angles before deciding to proceed. Don’t forget that, regardless of your relationship with either contact, there may be personal considerations that you are not aware of that will also impact this decision – it is important that you are clear in your explanations so that you don’t find yourself accused of over promising or under delivering.
Assist with preparations however possible.
Once an agreement has been reached, take the management of expectations a step further by providing your inside tips to help each contact (especially the job seeker) put her best foot forward. Pay particular attention to personalities, communication styles, and your connection to either party because, within your previous interactions, you have built a reputation that you are now attaching to each contact. However, at the same time, you must understand that your contacts will soon begin transitioning your introductions into their own relationship, which you cannot (and probably would not want to) control.
Finally, check in periodically…
As you speak to your contacts in the future, remember to ask about their new arrangement. This serves two purposes: first, it helps to strengthen each of your relationships because you are taking an interest in their lives by remembering something that is relatively important to them (just like when you ask about their family, hobbies, or goals); and, second, this provides an opportunity to maintain your excellent reputation. If there are issues that have impacted either contact’s opinion of you, it is important that you find out as soon as possible.
…and consider doing “damage control” as needed.
If and when personal issues arise, you may consider stepping in to facilitate an improvement. Remain neutral in speaking with each contact to understand the situation and respect both parties if you choose to involve yourself – sometimes a fresh perspective is all that is needed to clear up a misunderstanding that otherwise would have the potential to spiral out of control. However, at that point, your fresh perspective may also highlight previously hidden attributes associated with either contact (like unpleasant personality traits, disrespectful conflict resolution styles, etc). If the new information you uncover results in a situation that warrants it, you may be faced with a difficult decision as to if/how you will (or will not) proceed within your own relationships.
Playing “matchmaker” can be a dangerous game, but by following these steps, you will have a better chance at connecting your contacts successfully (in a way that benefits all parties).
Robyn Davis - Owner, When I Need Help (WINH)
Robyn helps exhibitors improve their results at conventions and trade shows by providing on-site sales and marketing support, pre-/post-event consulting services, and convenient products. Contact Robyn to discuss your situation today!
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